I've got the answer.

reflection while bathing does miracles.
as for my decision: i guess this is a issue of trust isnt it? He wun give us desires just to fantasize about. if the passion is one that is placed by him, i will hafta trust that he fulfill it somehow. he's not a sadist hanging a lollipop in front of my without me ever having the chance to lick it. if thats the case, take that passion away. dun torture me.

meanwhile, i have a dream.
why izit always people need to struggle with church vs sch. sports. cca. ambition. wad if.... we could merge them together. wad if Hope can be more then juz a church. become an institution? an organization that represents God in all aspects. we no longer struggle in church vs cca. church is THE cca. why not form a floorball team representing Hope? what about Hope United soccer team in the B division(under 16)? what about a pure christian team of netballers? Heard of Combined Schools' Team? What if we had God's Combined Schools?
thats not all. not onli in the sporting arena. the arts arena. dancers. drama. music. college superstar will haf our people in it. the sch they representing? Hope.
of coz, the smartest people must come from here too. future groomed politicians. businessman. counsellors. He will make us the head, not the tail. the nation will be governed with christian values... think about it. dream about it.

Hope=> the combination of sport school+lasalle+top academic sch.

cool? tell me ur thots about this.