ABSOLUT
OBEDIENCE

watched initial d. still remember the movie?

had a fruitful svc and clm today.

"He who wants to learn, learns."

i dare u try going to svc and meetings with an open & expectant heart. you will be surprised at the results.

anyway, realize that people, especially the more witty ones are like double edged swords. they are very good at using one word killers. the apt word with the apt tone juz to suan or insult others. sadly, im guilty of it as well. i often know when to use just single word or phrase, just to insult critically at others. something like im an efficient insulter or something liddat. but today learn about efficient encouragers.. people who can use the right words at the right times to lift people up. realized that im so desensitise that i cant even realize when to encourage. its like juz before u insult a person, a split second thot will run thru my mind telling myself "if u were to say this right now, u can hurt the person real badly." scary isnt it? but yet, as observant as i claim to be myself, i cant even figure out when to praise people.

i want to learn. the art of effective encouraging. one word, one person built up. =)

restored frenships.
inner peace restored in my soul.

hey hey. back to life in the army. juz got offered an overseas posting from the army. uhhuh.. u hear me.... they shortlisted me for some overseas job. was totally shocked. was describing to daniel about the whole thing...

AO: you have been shortlisted for overseas posting (mumbles a bit)
Me:........ sorry sir? (didnt hear him on the first try. tried to make him repeat in a polite fashion)
AO: you have been shortlisted for overseas posting.
Me: HUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha... i totally shouted back at him in disbelief..... took me a while to compose myself. the first thing i thot was that.. crap.. my ministry. i tried to ask for me to be pulled out of the interview. but in army.. no such choice available one. i hafta go there and hopefully either sound out to the people in charge or fail the FFI (some health inspection). heard that once choosen, even if u dun wanna go, u hafta go.

told God that if this is a chance to show my maturity in choosing His kingdom over personal gain, i will pass the test. but if its a crossroad that he wanted me to go, then may He force me into it. juz like how daniel choosed not to enter OCS but God placed him inside there anyway. i guess in situations like this, man can onli sit back and watch the master in action. pls pray for me that i will be in His perfect plan. =)

advent children

Aeris: why exactly did you come here?
Cloud: i.... wish to be forgiven.
Aeris: by who?

I've got the answer.

reflection while bathing does miracles.
as for my decision: i guess this is a issue of trust isnt it? He wun give us desires just to fantasize about. if the passion is one that is placed by him, i will hafta trust that he fulfill it somehow. he's not a sadist hanging a lollipop in front of my without me ever having the chance to lick it. if thats the case, take that passion away. dun torture me.

meanwhile, i have a dream.
why izit always people need to struggle with church vs sch. sports. cca. ambition. wad if.... we could merge them together. wad if Hope can be more then juz a church. become an institution? an organization that represents God in all aspects. we no longer struggle in church vs cca. church is THE cca. why not form a floorball team representing Hope? what about Hope United soccer team in the B division(under 16)? what about a pure christian team of netballers? Heard of Combined Schools' Team? What if we had God's Combined Schools?
thats not all. not onli in the sporting arena. the arts arena. dancers. drama. music. college superstar will haf our people in it. the sch they representing? Hope.
of coz, the smartest people must come from here too. future groomed politicians. businessman. counsellors. He will make us the head, not the tail. the nation will be governed with christian values... think about it. dream about it.

Hope=> the combination of sport school+lasalle+top academic sch.

cool? tell me ur thots about this.

sorethroat. but much better alr. thanks for everyone's prayer =) today another slack day. went to sgh to check up my arm injury again. apparantly its healing. thank God! but that means i dun get to downgrade. hafta go thru BMT again. actualli i dun reli mind leh. coz i wanna get back my fitness. cant stand being a weakling. its juz not.... glorious or something.. haha.. dunno how to put it into words.

was in the bus sitting down. saw this hockey player standing behind me with the trademark hockey stick. my minds started to drift again. almost became a hockey player. loved floorball. cant wait to finish my ns and go into nus to join the floorball team.... hiash. but the thot of ministry over cca haunted me again. have i not overcome this area yet? or is this another test? can i attempt to balance them or am i juz being selfish? self ambition or chasing passion? gosh... i nv seem to be able to get this thot figure out. someone help me along here. im trying to be honest with myself yet i cant seem to get the answer.

those who were sportsman. u know what i mean. Few things beats the 'high' of scoring in a competition or cutting thru the finish line. not for the glory sake, but the ADRENALINE RUSH... manx that feels reli good. the thrill of dribbling the ball thru the team juz by twist of sticks. ghosting past defenders. argh........
oh well. someone give me a BALANCED answer on this. quick!

sick. again? no. still. apparantly my illness been a serious one from the start, juz that i took it lightly and i unknownly dragged it till its liddat now. whole body weak and feeling horrible. its like i cant even do anything. juz wanna lie down on my bed. and the worse thing of all? i cant even fall asleep.

please keep me in prayer. i want to be healed quickly. this thing feels utterly horrible.

17. seventeen. X VII. the day of many mermories.

leave me with a smile at least, for u never know when i'll leave you forever.

saturday. bought my mum a bunch of roses... she came to ask me who paid. then i was like, me lah duh.. apparantly she thot that i got sponsored by my sister or something. =X

anyway, went for mother's day dinner. the word to discrible is: havoc. there was like 20 kids running out of control. so much noise. me and both of my sisters had headache. serious noise pollution. when the dinner was over, no one talked on the way home in the car. all just trying to appreciate the silence. food wasnt that good anyway.

rush home onli to watch the liverpool vs westham match. turned on the tv to see westham leading 2-1. then i saw the equalizer frm gerrald. went to bathe, and when i came out. 3-2. liverpool losing to a freak goal... untill gerrald equalized at 90+1mins. haha. me and my sister's boyfren was jumping up and down the sofa. oh well. went to rest after that. had fever. measured today with my osim themometer. 38.99C. i wonder if i have burnt my brain or something.... =x

BIG TESTIMONY !!!!

The Preparation

hahah... man! i tell u guys wad happened k? as some of u people might know.. im OOT-ed... meaning im out of training lah.. so now im just running errands and doing all the crap stuff for any commanders that order the OOTers arnd... eg. clean toilet, scrub the floor, man the telephone, transport food and etc... so wad happened was that my BMT is a total of 9 weeks coz im in the direct enchanced batch which is the fittest lah, so the BMT is the shortest period. so i got injured and yeah... im out of training. so i hafta wait to get posted out... either be a clerk, a storeman.... small fry in some area lah basically. (u cant get an injured man to do much anyway) as i dun reli like the army life, i was hoping to get posted out asap... ... i kept praying to God.... why am i still here when im of no more used alr? i learnt the lessons i need to learn in army alr... so wad else now? post me out quickly so i can do my ministry...

and that was my prayer daily. i asked God for
1) slack posting
2) 9 to 5 job
3)near my house
4)can book out daily
5)i want a fast posting. (normally takes 5 weeks of waiting, the shortest was at least 3 weeks)

lotsa criterias right? but i believe God can do it. we must pray specifically...
and i persisted in this prayer... after all elijah prayed for 7 time before rain came.... and God said that even the judge that doesnt fear man or God answered the woman's request for justice becoz she persisted.. so i did.. i prayed everyday.. every moment.. asked my whole bunk to pray for me.. ask my dmm... my shepherd... my frens.. haha.. and i didnt ask once onli.. if u know me..im quite forceful when i want something so i keep asking them to pray everytime i see them or something.....

Day Of Revelation

then, THAT day came...
i was in the office maning the phone. (one of the best jobs u can possibly have as an OOT. its slack, and in aircon and can read book) i was reading this book about faith and prayer. it said something that prayer called upon the power of God, but however its not that we can manipulate God thru prayer for selfish reasons.
but when we

"obey the law of the power and the power obeys you. conform to the laws and modes of the spirit's operation, an in the work of God's hands you may command the spirit's power"
-A.T. Pierson

'The ear of God shall listen, and the hand of God shall yield to your will. God bid u cry,"Thy will be done, and your will shall be done," When you can plead His promise, then you will is His will.'
-Charles Spurgeon


thats wad the whole thing is all about... prayer is asking for God to work.. but not for our selfish reasons, but for His reasons. when we walk right with God, the things we want to do will naturally be the things He Wants to do.

i guess i had to humbly admit to myself the selfish reasons why i want out. mix motives are in me. yes, i want to get out and do my ministry, but at the same time, its also coz i dun enjoy my life inside. and to be honest, that motive takes up a bigger percentage of my reason as i dun believe i wuld have been praying so persistently if not for the fact i detest that place.

As a result. i surrendered my will to His. i prayed in the office to Him. i told Him

"i give up. u take control. u give me the best posting, you give me the best working hours, the best location.........in ur best timing. You decide wad's considered best for me. Amen."

not soon after, one of my commanders came in.. he saw wad i was reading. so we started chatting about christianity and stuff. found out that he was a devout christian that fell away. immediately i knew... this is the reason why im here. we started engaging in a christian discussion. talked about how the christianity has diluted. how he lost faith in the systems of man in handling the things of God.. imperfect churchs and stuff... that eventually he lost faith in the whole religion. He confessed... he realli want to know the true God... but he needs to find out himself. not thru other people telling him that jesus is God repeatatively or something. but he wants to acknowledge it on his own. and i pray he does. my heart is burning to help him with it. coz i believe (this kinda of people are like paul) when they get it.... they will go all out for Him. He wil be convicted not becoz he merely know about God.. but becoz he finally KNOW God personally.

haha. after that whole thing, i reflected back to myself.
so this is the reason why You placed me here. thanks for letting me have a part in this. even if u want me to stay back a few more weeks to help this guy... im willing. =)

Gates of blessing opened

and then the next day. i fell sick, the doctore gave me MC for two days. meaning now i got 5day on leave. and guess wad.

I GOT MY POSTING!
not onli that.......this is the best part the post i got was..

1) in 2 weeks! shortest time period! (dun forget minimum is 3wks)
2) im the ONLY one who got it. (even those that oot 5 weeks ago havent got it!) not that im sadistic or wad... but this goes to show that God reali favors me! out of 9 people..... im the 1st to get posted out! even though there was FIVE other people that OOT 2-3 weeks before me

what can i still say? i was talking to rayson and daniel. this is clear that its God's hand.
Rayson: "yeah, i believe so too"
Daniel: "Defintely"

its SOOOOOOOOOOOO clear! i cant deny it.. its just... like .. opening of Red Sea to me. how to explain? though out this whole incident, the person whose faith got increase the most is not rayson, not daniel.. but myself. Thanks God.


PS:
btw, im not a talker onli, i do have follow up actions. about the guy i talk about. im going to buy him a book. and invite him to our service. pls pray together with me. =)