[Escapism]
Went to take a swim in the pool downstairs. Figured that it would help alleviate my stray thoughts. Wrong move. I forgot that you swim too. Guess i need some high intensity sports that keep me distracted. Floorball anyone? =)

Anyway, what i managed to sieve out while swimming:
A person's focus determines where you are heading, while your distractions determine how fast you are going. To have the wrong focus, is to start in the wrong direction. Speed is secondary. Direction is primary. For you never know you might just be on the highway to hell.
However, distractions can make or break a person. Though the word may have a negative connotation to it, i believe in the theory that 'two wrongs makes a right'. As i have demonstrated in the previous post, why not use the devil's evil against it. Since its the most effective method to draw us away from God, i guess if employed correctly, it can be also the most effective method to tear ourselves away from the devil. I guess thats what i have been aiming to achieve in the past few days.

Be focused on God, be distracted from the rest.
the fast and the furious. cmon... i need to be.

ouch.

a glimpse into my brain. [perhaps its even the reasons for my headaches]

"God thinks the world of you."
-Pastor Jeff

that statement stuck. God always looks at us in the best possible light. I never quite understood how He does it. What's the word for it? Extreme optimism? i don't really know. i was asking myself a hypothetical scenario. What good thoughts can a person possibly think about the ultimate sinner that repents?
(ultimate sinner defined as a person that committed every single sin)
And so He told me.

God: "he would probably be the perfect counsellor for he would be able to identify with everyone."
Me: "....."

wow... what can i say to that? i guess God can use me people like too. =)



The worst kind of suffering is not the one that causes the largest degree of pain, but the type which you cant seem to see the purpose or reason for the suffering.
A mother giving birth may be in extreme pain, but she knows that when its over, she achieved something. A training sportsman may feel pain while training, but he knows that he's growing stronger. However in life, we get so many things thrown at us, yet we don't seem to see the point. Now, that's tormenting, for you dont even know why you're being tormented. Logically, i know He works for the best for me. Yet experiencially, it seems to differ. It sometimes make me doubt if He's for me. But the question we truly need to answer is, are we for him? Difficulties come if you attempt to move in a direction. Of course if you are drifting along, you face no opposition, for you arent achieving anything worth opposing. I guess its in this kind of circumstance you gotta learn to trust. Is this a test of trust from Him?



Actually, everyone needs a god. Its just they are too stubborn and prideful to admit it.
Man has 2 greatest needs. To be loved and to find their purpose. Both are found in God, and any other ways to achieve it are the devil's counterfeit and temporal.
Take note: Temporal here doesnt takes the lifespan as the reference point. I'm referring to eternity as the standard. Get the focus right.

"You wrote that the world doesn't need a savior, and neither do I. But, every day I hear people crying for one"
(whoever figures out where this quote comes from gets a treat from me)



No Turning Back.
I cant believe it, but the designer of the shirt is getting haunted by his designs.

From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. "You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."
[Luke 6:66-69]

God been speaking to me about this and i even typed many posts about it. And when i finally thought its over... He pops it into my quiet time again! (Is He preparing me for something?) Those disciples have no place else to go. They abandoned everything..... to the extent which even if they want to return to their ways, they are unable to do so.
We must put ourselves in similiar positions of no return. There's no other direction except forward.


I'm trudging on.
Barely, cause i have no place left to go.
I'm looking ahead,
because there's nothing behind left for me.

Something about hurt.

The bad news is that you will always hurt the person that love you the most.
['Most' carries two meanings. if u cant get it, u can come ask me]
The worse news is that you will do it the most often.

Alternatively, your always hurt by the person you love most, and hurt by the person most often.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.

Love never fails.

[1 Cor 13:4-8]

convictions of a dreamist. part2. [the unfinished]

dreams. do u have the ability to imagine? i do. never stopped dreaming ever since i got the gift. Well, all adventures must come to an end. i guess for me, it has finally ended...

i still remembered how it all started:
one normal afternoon. central Hq. remember the squeezy seed meetings on monday? rushed down to join the crowd once my school ended. still was in my acsi uniform. white shirt, dark blue trousers. shirley was teaching. typical hope teaching... paper form.. another one of those something-church series. she likes to drift away sometimes. somehow, that day it was different. the topic she drifted to somehow caught my attention. begin to start listening. then... IT came. the phrase of revelation. the words that inspired hope no matter how bleak the future seems to be.

" In God, our potential is unlimited."

If you fully grasp the meaning of the line, you would have gotten it. dreaming is not longer a mere fantasy in your mind that will never exist. It is an architect's drawing board, a platform where ideas becomes reality. We are the designer, and God is the builder. With God, impossiblity is a impossible in itself. If i were you, i would dump those pathetic pictures of a small hut which i previously thought were within my means to construct myself. i would sketch palaces and fortresses. And then i would submit them to God. He will build them. He promised. In fact, He probably build something even bigger then what you drew. By then, you will not recognize you own dream.

Eph 3:20 says
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us

Whatever you dare to dream off, He dares to surpass it. Try it. I dare you to dream of a bigger dream then God's dream.

Now, back to the subject. Why has my adventure finally ended? Some of you may be curious to find out. An adventure may end because of two reasons.
First reason: the explorer chooses to give up, and head back. Uncountless people gave up on their dreams due to numerous difficulties. Valid reason. However, just allow me to sneak in a though. Dreams without difficulties are probably not worth chasing to begin with.
Second reason: The explorer has finally reached the end of the journey. There is no reason to go on, for there is nowhere else left to go. My reason would be the latter.

Big declaration, but it is not made with the absence of a big dream. I cant seem to find something else bigger. When you keep in step with God, God's dream eventually becomes your dream. And i believe there is nothing else bigger then His dream.

My dream
i dream of seeing The revival starting in my lifetime.
i dream of seeing the world coming to know my God.
i dream of seeing the end times come to pass in my lifetime.
i dream of enduring through the 7 years. (By his grace)
And most of all,
i dream of seeing His second coming.


Of course, this requires Him to do preparation work in my heart. i believe it has already begin.
look at the parable my shirley gave me and the passages that i read in my recent quiet time.

The Parables of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl
"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.
"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. (matt 13: 44-46)

The calling of the First Disciples
and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon's partners.
Then Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men." So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him. (luke 5:10-11)

The Calling of Levi
After this, Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi sitting at his tax booth. "Follow me," Jesus said to him, and Levi got up, left everything and followed him. (luke 5:27-28)

What more can i say? God wants me to sell away something. It has to be valuable. If not, its not worth selling in the first place. Melvin and Mark pointed out something. "Its probably something thats very dear to you." i guess this is where shirley's words strike a chord deep in my heart.

"Everything is dispensable except God."
-shirley (in encounter camp)




No turning back indeed.
"No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God"
-Jesus (luke 9:62)

nuggets of wisdom. part1. [eat them at ur own risk]

Bittersweet.
Thats the most apt word to use to describle life. To me at least. Cause to feel pain is to mean your heading in the right direction. Isnt that always the case?
Physical: no pain, no gain. all sportsmen will know when u train until your muscle aches, it means they are getting stronger.
Emotional: when ur hurt, it reflects the presence of a close relationship. Ever realize ur enemies never disappoints u? They only enrage u. Cause only people close to you can disappoint u. Perhaps thats why its always the person u love most able to disappoint u to the greatest extent. Pain is a reflection of the degree of intimacy.
( For those asking to build deeper relationships, you are basically asking for more pain.)



Hatred. Greed. Wrath. Pride. Gluttony.
Actually, i just realized. they arent so bad after all. I challenge you to change ur perpective. These arent actually sins. Its just perverted emotions. The devil has distorted the focus of these characteristics thats why we tend to sin.

What if we choose to...
harbour intense hatred towards sin?
be greedy for more of The Spirit to fill us?
be angry and stand up for the injustly treated?
take pride in the fact that we are God's beloved and boast about His goodness?
indulge in spiritual food(the Word of God) instead of physical food?

i want to learn to hate, be greedy, be angry, be proud and indulge.
i want to be the Devil's greatest nightmare. Amen.



People tend to think the greatest one can do for the christian faith is to martyr for it. I beg to differ. For living for Christ is so much harder then dying for Him. Just as how Rick Warren puts it in his book the "purpose driven life", it is so hard to be a living sacrifice as it can crawl off the altar! Physical death is just a once off, but living...... it is an uncountable series of deaths which is decided everyday, in every choice. Every choice made for Christ is one that denys our carnal self. We stab ourselves with every right decision we take.
Hence biblical living is basically daily dying.



Ever realize how humans have a twisted sense of the 'midas's touch'? We have a limitless potential for destruction. Everything that we tinker with, eventually end up much worse off in the end. Look at how nature ran itself. It was all balanced till man came into the picture. God's initial plan was good, but when man steps in to 'correct' it for the better, it ended up worse. Our world is a proven track record. Yet, we are all still so keen on taking control of our own lives. Havent we learnt that every choice we made contary to God's choice have gotten us into what we are now? Instead of handing control over, we still continue to direct our course of life hoping to make amendments for our previous mistakes. How much deeper must we descent down the slippery slope?

Its a human tendency to want to be in control.
I guess it also must be a human tendency to self destroy.

"We are one leadership revolution away from winning the world."
-Bill Hybels

All we need is just one final revolution to bring about the end times. And it is the leaders that will bring about this revolution. It may start small, but it will not end that way. God will not permit it. Picture a snowball rolling down the mountain. Thats the vision God gave me on saturday.

"Give me one hundred preachers who fear nothing but sin and desire nothing but God, and I care not whether they be clergymen or laymen, they alone will shake the gates of Hell and set up the kingdom of Heaven upon Earth."
-John Wesley

I'm looking for my hundred men. Join me, or get out of the way.
Whose interested in starting The revival?



God, i'm willing. Use me. Amen.

Gold fish theory:

the gold fish onli has a memory span of 3 secs. some people pity it. i beg to differ. i say its a blessing. how is that so? with a memory of 3secs, you can hardly store any information. good as well as bad. that means it cannot feel sad. even if it does, not for long. for it will forget its cause of sadness after 3 secs.

living with a forgetful mind and nv ever remembering pain. i wuld love that.